When You Can't Say "NO"

After a training where we were told to avoid using the word "no":
Caller: Do you have a combo membership with the XXX Museum?
Me: We have a combo TICKET with the XXX Museum that allows you to save 10% off admission price to each location.
Caller: I have a combo membership that combines me, my wife and my kids and allows us to go to your Museum.
Me: It sounds like you have what is called a FAMILY membership to our Museum but there is not a combo membership between our Museum and the XXX Museum.
Caller: So if I have a membership with you guys, I can go to XXX Museum for 10% off?
(15 second pause....)
Me: No.

Cut and Paste to Get What You Want

Dear Madam,
Thank you for pointing out the one sentence that you think proves your point. Thank you for not reading the entire piece and thank you for removing the insert telling you about the changes, thus negating the phrase you continue to quote.

Only Exceed

Dear Madam,
I am sorry we provided you the product you wanted and delivered it in the amount of time we promised. I am sorry we only met your expectations and I will be happy to give you something else for free since we did not break the laws of time, space and physics and ignore the 5,499 other customers so that your expectations could be exceeded.

It's Ok, Your Head is Full With Ideas for Other Crimes

Dear Madam, I am sorry you don't have a photo ID, can't remember your address, email or phone number, and I'm sorry your husband awkwardly walked away when I asked you to spell your last name and you couldn't. I'll take a guess that you're trying to use a membership card belonging to someone else.

Awkward Pause?

Dear Sir, Thank you for telling me to "stop talking" when I answered the phone. It makes thinking of something to say after "Hello" a LOT easier.