Refunds

Customer: "I didn't get my full refund."
Me: "Are you looking at your bank statement?"
Customer: "Yes."
Me: "Our records show a full refund on XX/XX/2010. Do you see it on your bank statement?"
Customer: "Um, no. I don't actually have the bank statement. I'll have to call my bank to get one. It will take about three days and I'll call you back to apologize IF you are right."
Me: "No problem. I'll keep your file on my desk and I will wait to hear back from you in three or four days."

45 minutes later...

Customer: "I talked to my bank and I'm calling to apologize..."

Unless You Want Divorce #2

Dear Madam,
I am sorry but we cannot allow you to put your ex-husband on your family membership because your new husband who is paying for it objects.