Coupon Queen

Dear Madam,

I am sorry but I cannot give you a $93 discount on your season pass.  Yes, I understand you "spent a lot of money already" but you were given lunch, a $10 coupon in the gift shop, free rides, enjoyed several of the attractions and paid the taxes in exchange for what you where charged but I can see how we should be able to run our business on an income of $45 per day.

Where Would We Keep Them?

Dear Madam,

I am very sorry but we do not have panthers for sale nor do I know if you can pick one up on safari in Arizona.

Who Needs Loyalty Without Sense?

Dear Madam,

I am sorry you do not understand our kids loyalty program.  Thank you for cutting me off each time I tried to explain it to you.  I am sorry you didn't read the email, nor the letter, nor the coupon, nor the website link we sent you within the first 3 weeks of registering for the program.  Thank you for your response of "whatever, it just doesn't make any sense at all."  I was beginning to think I was speaking to someone who had some sense.

Plus, Plus, Plus

Caller: How much is an adult ticket?
Me: $20.99 plus tax.
Caller: So twenty dollars per person.
Me: No mam, it's twenty dollars and ninety-nine cents plus tax per person.
Caller: I have 4 adults and it's twenty dollars to get them all in, right?
Me: No mam, for adults it is twenty dollars and ninety-nine cents plus tax PER PERSON.
Caller: Oh!  Per person?  So that's eighty dollars to get in 4 adults?
Me: Close enough.
Caller: And you're open every day but closed on Saturdays and Sundays, right?
Me: No mam.  We're open every day of the week.
Caller: Including Saturdays and Sunday?
Me: Yes mam, the entire week plus Saturdays and Sundays