Where Would We Keep Them?

Dear Madam,

I am very sorry but we do not have panthers for sale nor do I know if you can pick one up on safari in Arizona.

Inclusion

Caller: How much does it cost to attend the Fall Festival?
Me: It is included with the price of admission.
Caller: What does that mean?
Me: The event is free with admission.
Caller: What does that mean?
Me: You pay for a ticket to come in...
Caller: Right.
Me: And the event that is going on inside the park doesn't cost anything extra.
Caller: So, it's free?
Me: After you pay to come in to the park, you don't have to spend any more money.

Please Hold for 10 Minutes

Dear Madam,
I am sorry you are upset we answered the phone 10 minutes before we opened because we were ready to open early.

Awkward Pause?

Dear Sir, Thank you for telling me to "stop talking" when I answered the phone. It makes thinking of something to say after "Hello" a LOT easier.