All in a Day

Dear Madam,
Thank you for wagging your finger in my face and telling me "I don't need your spiel. Tell me where the end of the line is." I guess you don't need to know that after you wait in line for 2 hours, you won't be able to see anything and you don't want the rain check we are offering to save you from wasting your time.


Dear Madam,
Thank you for flirting with me to try to get to the front of the 2 hour line but you're barking up the wrong tree.
 
Dear Sir,
Thank you for telling me you "don't want to stand in this long line" and that you are "just going to walk up to the ticket booth and pay." I'll make sure I tell everyone in front of you that you are more important than them and you can deal with them once you get inside. Look out for flying cups of soda.
 
Dear Madam,
I am very sorry you don't want to wait 30 seconds for someone to back their SUV out of their parking space because you are afraid you will lose your place in line but your foot does not make a good speed bump.
 
Dear Madam,
Thank you for recycling by digging in the trash cans for used tickets and trying to pass them off as "the ones [you bought] earlier today" so you could save $5 on ticket already discounted by $15.  Thank you for teaching your children how to do this as well.  They are our future.